When you hear prostate massage you might think about a visit to the doctor. Well … its time to change how you think. Prostate massage can be an amazing way to open the male body up to new worlds of pleasure and intimacy.
There are many benefits to massaging your prostate including overall healthier sex function, as well as lower rates of prostate disease later on down the road. That’s why the docs do it – however, they likely do not focus on the other benefits as we do here – including explosive, full-bodied orgasms and an expanded sense of sexuality and sensuality.
Similar to female g spot massage, prostate massage is the stimulation and healing of the male g spot – your prostate. The best way to get to your prostate is through the wall of your anus. (Yes, we just said, your anus…)
Although this can be edgy for many men, a world of pleasure is available to you if you are willing and adventurous enough. As you begin to explore prostate massage, you will become aware of other areas that are extremely sensitive and hot, including your perineum and your hidden penis.
Your perineum is the smooth area between your balls and anus – massage to this area can be really hot and might – depending on how you are built down there – gently stimulate your prostate.
Over a third of your penis is actually “buried” – you can find it extending from the base of your penis, under your testicles, toward your perineum. It can be especially pleasurable when you play with stimulating your penis, perineum, buried penis and prostate at the same time or in varying combinations.
You can do prostate by yourself or with a partner. If you are looking to get a better sense of what is involved with prostate massage, on your own, without the involvement of anyone else, try our prostate masturbation exercise. If you want to try prostate massage with a partner, try our prostate massage exercise below.
Prostate Massage: A Guided Exercise
This is an exercise for you, the man, and your partner, to have you both become comfortable with experience the enhanced sexual pleasure and connection that is possible with prostate massage.
Note: Prostate massage has the naturally controlling man allow himself to be in the more unaccustomed role of pure receiver, which might be confronting or might be a delightful relief. This should be cherished and respected by the partner.
Leave about 1 hour for this exercise. You will need a comfortable space, some water-based lube, a few towels, a few pillows, and if you want, a sex toy or dildo (we always recommend the aneros ). Since this prostate massage exercise involves anal play, you may choose to use a condom on the sex toy or a latex glove on your finger, or just give a good wash up with lots of soap and hot water afterward!
1. Draw your man a bath or shower, to relax him as well as have him get really clean – especially in the area of his penis, anus and balls. If you have long fingernails and are planning to use your fingers for prostate massage, you will want to cut your fingernails very short. You want to be extra gentle with the delicate anal membrane.
2. Set out the things you will need and take some time to prepare the space you will be in. Perhaps light some candles and put on some sexy music you know he loves, so that your man will feel comfortable, relaxed and open.
3. Bring your (very clean!) man into the space you have prepared, and help him get comfortable. You can take some time removing his towel or clothing along with gentle caresses or massage.
4. A good position to start prostate massage in is with your man seated, with his back reclined and supported by pillows, his knees bent and slightly opened outward, again supported by pillows. Your man may be in this position for a while, so you want to make sure he is truly comfortable and relaxed. You can sit or kneel in front of your man, in a way that you are comfortable, and can have eye contact.
5. You can also try having your man facing away from you, kneeling, knees apart, with his elbows resting on a pillow or firm surface. You can try this out part-way through the exercise, to see which is most comfortable for your man.
6. Begin to relax and arouse your man, with massage, caresses, and light touch to begin to turn him on. When he is getting a bit more aroused, you can begin to touch his pubic hair, penis, and balls. As he gets more and more aroused, you can begin to play a bit with his perineum and the opening of his anus.
7. When he is pretty hot, put some lube on your finger or sex toy – whichever you are using, and begin to pay attention to the opening of his anus. Take some time here, making sure it is well-lubed and that your man is still relaxed and hot. Circular motions are good here – no “poking.” Concentrate on stroking and bringing pleasure to the opening of his anus. You might also want to keep stimulation going on his penis or balls – you can do this, or he can.
8. When your man is very turned on, you can gently, but firmly, being to apply a bit of pressure with the pad of your finger or the edge of your sex toy. (You can never have too much lube!) All you need is time and patience and for your man to be super hot – you don’t need to force anything. You will notice that when it is ready, his anus will allow your finger or toy to enter – or even draw it in.
9. With your palm up, continue to put the tip of your finger or toy inside and pause for a moment for him to get accustomed to this new sensation. With your finger or toy inside, you can still stimulate his penis, etc.
10. Explore slowly! Begin to gently move your finger or toy, and keep asking your partner what feels best to him. Eye contact is a good thing here. Avoid sudden movements and moving your finger in and out, unless your partner asks for it. Instead, try very small circular movements or varied pressure to the anal canal.
11. When both of you are feeling comfortable, insert your finger (palm facing up) or toy a little deeper – about 1 or 2 inches and search out the prostate. Bend your finger and with a “come here” motion begin to search for a round-ish area, about the size of a chestnut. This is the prostate, the area that fills with ejaculatory fluid and releases it during ejaculation.
12. Stimulation of your partner’s prostate will have a variety of sensations – it might be sensitive, it might suddenly enhance his pleasure, even to the point he might feel like he is about to ejaculate. Some men can orgasm from this alone!
13. Try a variety of movement and pressures – circular, a “milking” motion, around the face of a clock, “come here,” perhaps in and out if your partner likes it – and keep asking or noticing what feels best to your partner. Try massaging the prostate with – and without – touching other areas of your partner’s body.
14. Focus on massaging your man’s prostate – exploring what is most pleasurable for him. With varying pressure and play on his prostate, try keeping your partner on the brink of orgasm, but don’t bring him there just yet. However, after a while, you may want to let the massage spill over into orgasm – not a problem!
15. Gently withdraw your finger or sex toy and, if necessary, clean up you as well as your partner. Take some time to be with your partner and appreciate his openness and willingness to expand his pleasure and connection with you.